Increasing Intimacy with Couples Therapy • San Jose Marriage Counseling

marriage-counselor-intimacy-san-jose-caIntimacy is an important part of any relationship that is often mistaken for sex. This largely because the euphemism of being intimate is commonly understood as having sex.

In marriage counseling, intimacy has to do with both physical and emotional connection in a relationship.

Because intimacy has to do with the connection, the bond that a couple shares is either strengthened or challenged depending on what a couple does to maintain that connection.

Intimacy is the ability to feel safe about sharing thoughts and feelings, and to be alright expression negative emotions. Another aspect of intimacy involves sharing physical closeness in a comforting and sometimes sexual way, depending on the nature of the relationship.

Different Types of Intimacy

While in a committed relationship, sex is part of intimacy, sexual relations are not necessary in order for a couple to be intimate.

As for the physical aspect of intimacy, this can be something as simple as a hug, cuddling on the couch, or holding hands while taking a walk. be nonverbal and non-touching, like a smile from across the room. Intimacy is all these things and what we make of it.

Many couples mistakenly take sex and intimacy to be synonymous, especially since the two do tie into each other.

If a couple has a disparagingly different sex drive, intimacy often suffers, not due to lack of sex as much as resentment . When intimacy suffers, the sex life usually is negatively impacted as well.

Women and Men View Intimacy Differently

marriage-counselor-intimacy-san-jose-ca-2While both men and women crave intimacy, traditionally women crave intimacy more, while men are more inclined to desire sexual relations. This really isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it appears this might even be by design.

It’s the balance of the two that makes for a good relationship – intimacy and sex – and thus, having one partner putting emphasis on one aspect while the other partner put emphasis on another aspect brings about that balance to the relationship.

The good news is, for the man, if intimacy is increased, the woman is more likely to desire sex. The good news is, for the woman, that if sex is increased, the man is more likely to desire intimacy outside of sexual relations. Of course, this works in reverse too. This is a common subject in marriage counseling.

The problem comes in when that balance between the two is off kilter, and as such, one partner may believe there is no problem while the other partner is not having their needs met. Some women have difficulty getting their partner to understand their desire for intimacy, but all is not lost.

Someone can actually increase intimacy in your relationship without their partner even realizing it. With marriage counseling, couples typically see intimacy increasing because they alter their approach and become more connected to one another.

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