Saving marriages since 2005. One blow job at a time.
On October 16, 2026, I did something that made me seriously question my own judgment. I paid the United States government $350 to file a federal trademark application for “Dr. Blow Job™.”
Yes, you read that correctly. And no, I wasn’t drunk. I don’t drink. Although sometimes I think I should…
Now, before you conclude that I’ve finally lost my mind, allow me to explain. Although I’m not entirely sure an explanation will help. But here goes.
How Does a Perfectly Respectable Woman Become Dr. Blow Job?
In theory, I’m a totally respectable human being. I have a Ph.D. in psychology. I’m a published researcher for fuck’s sake. I’ve spent decades studying human behavior, relationships, emotional healing, and the extraordinary complexity of being human. I’ve written books about alternative medicine, men’s dignity, and the pursuit of love.
And now, apparently, I’m Dr. Blow Job. My parents would be so proud.
The funny thing is, I didn’t set out to acquire this particular distinction. I didn’t wake up one morning and think, “You know what the world needs? Another doctor. Specifically, one specializing in blow jobs.” But somewhere along the way, as I was writing Magnificent Men: How Men Are Undervalued and How Worshipping and Being Worshipped Can Bring You The Hot and Holy Love You Desire I realized something that had been bothering me for years.
We live in a culture that talks endlessly about sex while remaining remarkably uncomfortable with the simple idea of enthusiastically giving pleasure to someone we love. And when it comes to men, that discomfort can be especially revealing.
Why Should a Blow Job Be a Special Occasion?
I’ve never understood why oral sex is so often discussed as though it’s an extraordinary favor bestowed upon a man for exemplary behavior.
His birthday.
His anniversary.
Christmas.
Perhaps a particularly successful trip to Home Depot.
Really? What the fuck?
Why should something that can be such an intimate, pleasurable expression of affection be treated like a reward he has to earn?
I don’t believe men should have to perform heroic acts to deserve tenderness, affection, or sexual enthusiasm. I believe they deserve to feel wanted. Not merely tolerated. Not accommodated. Not occasionally rewarded for good behavior. Wanted. And there’s an important difference between a man knowing that his partner is willing to have sex with him and knowing that she genuinely desires him.
Willingness says, I don’t mind. Desire says, I want you. One can be comforting. The other can be electrifying.
Imagine being a man who has spent years wondering whether his desire is welcome, whether initiating affection will be met with enthusiasm or an exhausted sigh, whether the woman he loves actually enjoys his body or simply puts up with it.
Now imagine the extraordinary emotional difference when that same man feels unmistakably wanted.
Not because he completed the household chores.
Not because he remembered an anniversary.
Not because he negotiated successfully.
But because the woman he loves looks at him and feels genuine delight. That’s the kind of sexual generosity I want to normalize.
And that brings me to the actual reason I spent $350 trademarking a name that will probably make my future husband wonder whether he married a woman or a public-relations emergency.
The Radical Idea Behind Dr. Blow Job
Let me just come right out and say it:
I want to normalize blow jobs.
Apparently, I believe that one of the gazillion rights men have been denied is the right to excellent and frequent blow jobs.
I want oral sex to become something couples can talk about without embarrassment, shame, bargaining, or the ridiculous suggestion that a woman is doing a man some enormous favor by pleasuring him.
I want men to experience sexual affection as something freely and joyfully given, rather than something they must negotiate for. And I want women to discover that giving pleasure can itself be an extraordinary source of pleasure.
This isn’t about obligation. It isn’t about keeping score or satisfying a quota. Desire doesn’t flourish under orders.
It’s about enthusiasm.
It’s about generosity.
It’s about the beautiful possibility of looking at someone you love and thinking, I would absolutely love to make you feel wonderful.
Imagine that. Delighting and being delighted. On a regular basis.
And please understand something else: normalizing oral sex doesn’t mean turning it into another item on a woman’s already overcrowded to-do list. Pick up dry cleaning. Buy organic broccoli. Give husband blow job. Good Lord. That’s not what I’m talking about.
I’m talking about cultivating a relationship in which both people feel so deeply cherished, appreciated, and desired that giving pleasure becomes something to look forward to rather than something to get through. And yes, that includes a man’s pleasure.
Because despite all our cultural conversations about sexuality, I think we sometimes forget that men have emotional lives attached to their bodies. They don’t merely want physical sensation. They want to feel attractive. They want to feel desirable. They want to know that their partner enjoys them.
And sometimes, beneath the apparent simplicity of a man’s sexual desire, there is a profoundly human longing: Please let me know you want me.
Worshipping and Being Worshipped
One of the central ideas in Magnificent Men is that love becomes extraordinary when two people stop merely managing their relationship and begin actively cherishing one another.
I call this worshipping and being worshipped. And no, I’m not suggesting that anyone should confuse their spouse with God. I’m talking about deep reverence for the person you love. The willingness to see another human being as precious, desirable, and worthy of extraordinary tenderness.
That reverence can be expressed through words, touch, kindness, loyalty, admiration, and countless small acts of devotion. It can also be expressed sexually. Including, yes, through oral sex.
But here’s where an important distinction needs to be made. Worship is not performance. A woman can perform a sexual act without feeling particularly loving, and she can love a man profoundly without wanting a particular sexual act at a particular moment.
What makes sexual intimacy an expression of worship isn’t simply what two people do with their bodies. It’s the spirit in which they approach one another. It’s the affection, tenderness, admiration, playfulness, and genuine desire behind the act. And it works both ways.
A man who worships his wife doesn’t simply want access to her body. He wants her to feel treasured in it. He delights in her pleasure, her happiness, her confidence, and her freedom to be fully herself. Likewise, a woman who worships her husband doesn’t view his desire as an irritating biological problem requiring occasional maintenance. She sees the man she loves. And she delights in loving him.
There’s nothing inherently contradictory about profound love and enthusiastic sexuality. In fact, I believe they can enrich one another beautifully. That’s part of what I mean by Hot and Holy Love™. The sacred and the sensual don’t have to be enemies. Sometimes they’re holding hands. Sometimes they’re doing considerably more than that. Think of it as the Sacred Schwing!
So Why Trademark the Name?
Because I wanted to claim the humor, the provocation, and the philosophy together.
Dr. Blow Job™ is funny. Deliberately funny. But it also makes a point.
Why should a woman who openly celebrates men’s sexual pleasure be considered outrageous?
Why should enthusiasm for pleasuring a beloved man be something to whisper about?
Why can’t we discuss oral sex with the same warmth, affection, and good humor we bring to other expressions of love?
I suspect some people will be scandalized by the name. Others will laugh. And some men may quietly wonder whether someone has finally decided to speak up for a part of their intimate lives that is too often treated as an inconvenience.
Those are conversations I’m willing to start. And I think humor is particularly useful here because it disarms people. A serious discussion about sexual generosity might make someone uncomfortable.
But tell them that a woman with a Ph.D. has paid the federal government $350 to file a trademark application for Dr. Blow Job, and suddenly everyone has questions. Possibly including the United States Patent and Trademark Office.
I can only imagine the examining attorney arriving at work, opening my application, and thinking, “Well, this is going to be an interesting morning.”
You’re welcome, sir. Or madam.
A Note to My Future Husband
Darling, wherever you are, I should probably tell you something before we get married. Your future wife has officially filed a federal trademark application for Dr. Blow Job™.
There is paperwork. There is a serial number. The United States government has been paid.
I realize this may not have been among the qualities you listed when praying for a wife. I hope you’ll find it funny. I hope you’ll understand the affection for men behind it. And I hope you’ll appreciate that the woman who wants to love you deeply, faithfully, and wholeheartedly also believes that marriage should be filled with laughter, playfulness, and extraordinary sexual delight.
I also hope you’ll understand that I take love very seriously. Myself, considerably less so.
Because, darling, I don’t want an ordinary marriage. I want a Magnificent Marriage™.
And apparently, I now have thirteen trademark applications to prove it.
The Bottom Line
I didn’t trademark Dr. Blow Job because I believe oral sex is the most important thing in a relationship. I did it because I believe the pleasure of the person you love matters. Enormously.
Because men deserve to feel cherished. Because sexual generosity deserves celebration rather than embarrassment. Because there’s an enormous difference between being sexually accommodated and being enthusiastically desired. And because sometimes the best way to challenge a cultural assumption is to make people laugh so hard that they momentarily forget they’re supposed to be offended.
So yes, I filed a federal trademark application for Dr. Blow Job. And no, I still don’t drink.
Although after thinking about how to explain all this to my future husband, I understand why people feel compelled to drink.
This level of madness may require some serious tequila.
Randi Fredricks, Ph.D
Companion Song Recommendation:
— “Pearl Necklace,” ZZ Top, 1981
This article is based on concepts from Randi Fredricks, Ph.D.’s book Magnificent Men: How Men Are Undervalued and How Worshipping and Being Worshipped Can Bring You The Hot and Holy Love You Desire, exploring the restoration of men’s dignity and worth, the sacred and sensual dimensions of intimacy, and hot and holy love.
Author Bio
Randi Fredricks, Ph.D. is a best-selling author and provocateur whose work explores love, relationships, sexuality, spirituality, and the magnificent complexity of being human. For more than three decades, she has explored what helps people connect more deeply, love more courageously, and create extraordinary relationships. Her writing blends psychology, spirituality, humor, and eroticism, with a particular passion for restoring the dignity and value of men and exploring the possibilities of Hot and Holy Love. At the heart of her work is a simple conviction: all human beings deserve and are capable of extraordinary love — and a beautiful life.
