Exploring the signs and when therapy can help.

Seeking therapy is a personal decision, and it can sometimes be difficult to know when it’s the right time to take that step. Many people hold onto the belief that therapy is only for those in extreme distress or facing mental health disorders. However, therapy can be beneficial for anyone experiencing life challenges or seeking to improve their emotional well-being. In this article, we will explore 10 common signs that may indicate it’s time to consider seeking professional help.

1. You Feel Overwhelmed by Your Emotions

It’s natural to feel overwhelmed at times—life can be stressful, and emotions often accompany those stresses. However, when you find yourself constantly consumed by intense emotions like anger, sadness, or anxiety, it may be a signal that your emotions are unmanageable or out of proportion to the situation at hand. Persistent emotional distress can lead to burnout, irritability, and relationship struggles, which is why seeking therapy to address these feelings early on is important.

Emotions that feel out of control are often linked to deeper, unresolved issues, such as past trauma, unhealed grief, or unhealthy thought patterns. Therapists provide tools that can help you understand and regulate emotions, thus preventing them from becoming overwhelming. Therapy helps you become more aware of emotional triggers and teaches you ways to respond to them in healthier, more productive ways.

See also How to Find the Right Therapist: A Complete Guide to In-Person and Online Support

Emotional Regulation Techniques:

Therapists often use approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which helps you recognize and challenge irrational thoughts that fuel overwhelming emotions. Mindfulness-based therapy can also be highly effective, helping you stay grounded in the present moment without being consumed by your emotions.

Example:

Case Study: Sarah, a 30-year-old lawyer, found herself often bursting into tears at work over small disagreements with colleagues. These emotional breakdowns left her embarrassed and isolated. After starting therapy, she learned how to identify the underlying stressors contributing to her emotional reactions and was introduced to mindfulness techniques to help her remain calm in stressful situations.

2. You’re Experiencing Significant Life Changes

Life changes can be invigorating, but they can also feel destabilizing. Transitioning to a new job, losing a loved one, getting married, or moving to a new city are significant changes that can cause stress and anxiety. It’s common to feel disoriented or unprepared for such changes, but if these feelings persist and affect your ability to cope, it’s a sign that therapy might be beneficial.

Whether it’s grief after a loss or uncertainty about your future, therapy provides a space to explore your feelings. Understanding how these changes affect your emotional health can empower you to move through them in a healthier way. Therapy can also help you process trauma related to life events and provide tools for building resilience.

Approaches for Navigating Life Changes:

Therapists use techniques like solution-focused therapy, which is geared towards setting practical, short-term goals to help you navigate the present challenge. They may also use narrative therapy to help you rewrite your personal story and redefine how life changes are impacting your identity.

Example:

Case Study: John had recently moved to a new city for work and was experiencing feelings of loneliness, disorientation, and stress. After a few therapy sessions, he was able to gain clarity about his fears and anxieties. His therapist helped him set goals to engage with his new environment and build new social networks, which ultimately helped him feel more settled.

See also Should You See a Psychologist, Psychiatrist, or Therapist?

3. You Can’t Shake Feelings of Anxiety

Feelings of anxiety can be adaptive and helpful when they alert us to potential dangers. However, when anxiety becomes chronic, disproportionate to the situation, or disruptive to daily life, it may be a sign of an anxiety disorder. Common types of anxiety disorders include Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety, and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Therapists help individuals understand the root causes of their anxiety and provide coping strategies to manage it. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly effective in treating anxiety disorders because it helps individuals challenge the irrational thoughts that fuel their anxious feelings. Exposure therapy, a subtype of CBT, can help you gradually confront the situations that trigger your anxiety, reducing their power over time.

Signs That Your Anxiety Might Need Attention:

  • Avoidance of situations or places because of anxiety.
  • Trouble sleeping, concentrating, or relaxing due to constant worry.
  • Panic attacks, which can include symptoms like a racing heart, shortness of breath, or dizziness.

Example:

Case Study: Maria had been suffering from social anxiety for years, avoiding gatherings and public speaking at all costs. She sought therapy to learn how to manage her anxiety. Through exposure therapy, she slowly began attending social events and practicing public speaking. Over time, her anxiety significantly decreased, and she felt more confident in social situations.

See also What Type of Therapist Do You Need? A Guide to Specialties and Modalities

4. You’re Struggling with Your Relationships

Healthy relationships require communication, trust, and mutual understanding. If you find that your relationships—whether with family, friends, or romantic partners—are consistently fraught with conflict, misunderstanding, or emotional distance, therapy can help. Emotional disconnect, ineffective communication, and unresolved issues can often lead to feelings of resentment or frustration, which strain relationships.

Couples therapy or family therapy can help in these cases, as therapists offer practical strategies to improve communication, build trust, and address emotional wounds. Therapy also helps individuals develop empathy for one another and address their unique needs within relationships.

Common Relationship Struggles:

  • Difficulty trusting or understanding others.
  • Consistent arguments or disagreements that never seem to resolve.
  • Emotional or physical distance in romantic relationships.

Example:

Case Study: Jake and Emma had been in a long-term relationship but found themselves constantly arguing over finances. These disagreements led to feelings of resentment, and communication broke down. In therapy, they worked on improving their communication, learned active listening skills, and discussed underlying fears that contributed to their conflicts. As a result, they became better equipped to navigate disagreements without escalating them.

See also Finding a Therapist That’s Right for You

5. You’re Struggling to Manage Stress

Chronic stress can have a significant impact on both physical and mental health. It can manifest in many forms, including anxiety, irritability, digestive issues, and fatigue. Stress can also interfere with your ability to concentrate and make decisions, which further exacerbates your stress. Whether it’s work-related pressure, personal responsibilities, or general life challenges, therapy can provide tools to manage and reduce stress effectively.

Therapists can teach stress-management techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and mindfulness exercises. They also help individuals develop healthier perspectives on stressors by re-framing negative thoughts and helping clients identify their areas of control.

Stress Management Techniques:

  • Mindfulness practices to help you stay grounded and focused on the present.
  • Cognitive reframing to challenge negative thoughts and develop a healthier perspective.
  • Time management strategies to reduce feelings of being overwhelmed.

Example:

Case Study: Emily, a busy executive, struggled to balance her work, family, and personal life. The pressure from all areas of her life left her feeling constantly stressed. Through therapy, Emily learned time management techniques and mindfulness practices that helped her reduce stress and focus on the things that mattered most.

6. You Have a History of Trauma

Trauma can have profound and lasting effects on mental health. It might stem from a single event like an assault or accident, or from ongoing experiences such as childhood abuse or neglect. While everyone responds to trauma differently, it can lead to symptoms like anxiety, depression, anger, dissociation, and feelings of powerlessness.

Therapy, especially trauma-focused therapies, can help you process and heal from past traumatic experiences. Approaches like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) are particularly effective for trauma recovery. These methods help individuals reprocess traumatic memories and reduce their emotional intensity, allowing them to move forward in a healthier way.

Signs of Unresolved Trauma:

  • Intrusive memories, flashbacks, or nightmares related to past trauma.
  • Difficulty trusting others or feeling hyper-vigilant.
  • Emotional numbness or detachment from loved ones.

Example:

Case Study: Daniel had survived a car accident years ago but continued to experience vivid flashbacks, nightmares, and panic attacks. His therapist used EMDR to help him process the trauma, which significantly reduced his distress. Through therapy, Daniel also gained tools to manage anxiety, allowing him to feel safer and more in control.

7. You Feel “Stuck” or Lack a Sense of Purpose

It’s common to feel uncertain about your life path at certain points. You may question your purpose, your career, or your relationships, leaving you feeling lost or disconnected. If these feelings persist for an extended period and lead to a lack of motivation or dissatisfaction, it may be time to seek professional support.

Therapy helps individuals identify personal goals and uncover their underlying desires and motivations. Through self-exploration, clients can gain clarity on what matters most to them, which helps guide their decisions and actions in life. This process often involves addressing any negative self-talk or limiting beliefs that hold individuals back.

Steps Toward Finding Purpose:

  • Self-exploration through journaling and guided questions.
  • Setting personal goals that align with your values and passions.
  • Exploring career options, hobbies, and relationships that bring joy and fulfillment.

Example:

Case Study: Lily felt unfulfilled in her career and had no idea what she truly wanted to do with her life. In therapy, she worked with her therapist to explore her interests and passions. Through a combination of self-reflection exercises and values-based coaching, Lily was able to identify a career path that aligned with her values. She also learned to approach her life with a greater sense of purpose, which brought her more satisfaction and motivation.

8. You’re Experiencing Symptoms of Depression

Depression is one of the most common mental health conditions, affecting millions of people worldwide. It’s more than just feeling sad—it involves a persistent sense of hopelessness, lack of energy, and disinterest in activities that used to bring joy. If you’re experiencing symptoms such as a prolonged low mood, changes in appetite or sleep patterns, feelings of worthlessness, or an inability to focus, it may be time to seek therapy.

Therapy is one of the most effective treatments for depression. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is commonly used to help individuals recognize and challenge the negative thought patterns that contribute to depressive feelings. Interpersonal Therapy (IPT) can also be useful for those whose depression stems from relationship issues or life stressors.

Signs of Depression:

  • Persistent feelings of sadness or emptiness.
  • A loss of interest in things that once brought joy or fulfillment.
  • Difficulty concentrating, making decisions, or completing daily tasks.
  • Changes in sleep patterns (either sleeping too much or not enough).
  • Thoughts of death or suicide.

Example:

Case Study: Tom had been feeling increasingly withdrawn and uninterested in life. He no longer enjoyed spending time with friends or participating in activities that once made him happy. After seeking therapy, Tom learned how to identify negative thought patterns and reframe them. With the support of his therapist, he also learned behavioral techniques to increase his engagement in activities and gradually improve his mood.

9. You’re Turning to Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

When faced with stress or emotional pain, many people turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms to numb their feelings. Whether it’s substance abuse (drinking alcohol, using drugs), overeating, or engaging in risky behaviors like self-harm, these coping mechanisms often provide temporary relief but can worsen the situation over time.

Therapists help individuals identify and understand the root causes of their unhealthy coping mechanisms. Therapy allows individuals to explore the emotional pain they may be trying to avoid and learn healthier, more effective ways to cope. For example, mindfulness and emotional regulation skills are often part of the therapeutic process to help clients manage distress without turning to harmful behaviors.

Common Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms:

  • Drinking alcohol to escape emotional pain or stress.
  • Using drugs as a way to numb feelings of anxiety or depression.
  • Overeating or engaging in disordered eating behaviors.
  • Self-harming as a way to feel control or relief from emotional turmoil.

Example:

Case Study: Olivia struggled with binge eating as a way to cope with feelings of loneliness and anxiety. Through therapy, she was able to understand the emotional triggers for her eating habits and developed healthier coping strategies, such as mindfulness and journaling. Over time, Olivia began to feel more in control of her emotions and was able to manage stress in a healthier manner.

10. You Feel Isolated and Alone

Loneliness is a powerful emotion, and it can significantly impact your mental health. Whether you’re surrounded by people or not, feeling emotionally isolated can be draining and lead to depression, anxiety, and a lack of self-worth. If you feel disconnected from others, struggle to form meaningful relationships, or find it difficult to ask for help, therapy can be a supportive environment to explore these feelings.

Therapists help individuals understand why they feel isolated, often uncovering issues such as low self-esteem, fear of rejection, or unresolved trauma. Therapy can also help individuals develop social skills, improve communication, and address patterns of isolation, so that they can build more meaningful connections in their lives.

Signs of Emotional Isolation:

  • Feeling disconnected from others, even when surrounded by friends or family.
  • Difficulty opening up to others or asking for help.
  • Lack of emotional support or difficulty forming new relationships.

Example:

Case Study: Jason had always struggled with feelings of loneliness. Despite having a supportive family, he found it difficult to form close friendships and felt like he didn’t belong. In therapy, he learned how to communicate his needs more openly and address the underlying fears that prevented him from connecting with others. Over time, he was able to build a stronger support network and experience deeper emotional connections.

Conclusion

Therapy is an invaluable tool for individuals seeking to improve their mental, emotional, and relational well-being. While many people think of therapy as a resource for those with serious mental health disorders, the truth is that therapy can benefit anyone facing emotional distress, life changes, or seeking personal growth. Therapy is not just for moments of crisis—it’s a resource for navigating the challenges of life with more clarity, emotional resilience, and self-understanding.

If you identify with any of the signs mentioned in this article, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. Therapy provides a safe and supportive space where you can work through emotional difficulties, uncover the root causes of your struggles, and develop coping strategies that will serve you in the long term. You don’t have to face your challenges alone—therapy can provide the support you need to live a more fulfilling and balanced life.

Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Therapy is a step toward self-care, healing, and personal empowerment. If you’re unsure whether therapy is right for you, consider scheduling a consultation with a licensed therapist to discuss your concerns. Taking that first step can be life-changing.

Dr. Randi Fredricks, Ph.D.

Author Bio

Dr. Randi Fredricks is a leading expert in the field of mental health counseling and psychotherapy, with over three decades of experience in both research and practice. She holds a PhD from The Institute of Transpersonal Psychology and has published ground-breaking research on communication, mental health, and complementary and alternative medicine. Dr. Fredricks is a best-selling author of books on the treatment of mental health conditions with complementary and alternative medicine. Her work has been featured in leading academic journals and is recognized worldwide. She currently is actively involved in developing innovative solutions for treating mental health. To learn more about Dr. Fredricks’ work, visit her website: https://drrandifredricks.com

References

American Psychological Association (APA). (2020). Understanding Anxiety. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org

National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). (2017). Depression. Retrieved from https://www.nimh.nih.gov

Mayo Clinic. (2019). Stress Management. Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinic.org

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). (2018). Trauma-Informed Care. Retrieved from https://www.samhsa.gov

Harvard Medical School. (2016). The Importance of Therapy in Mental Health. Harvard Health Publishing. Retrieved from https://www.health.harvard.edu

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). (2019). Coping with Mental Illness. Retrieved from https://www.nami.org

American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, Frequently Asked Questions on Marriage and Family Therapists Archived 4 April 2007 at the Wayback Machine

Marit Råbu, Christian Moltu, Per-Einar Binder & John McLeod (2016) How does practicing psychotherapy affect the personal life of the therapist? A qualitative inquiry of senior therapists’ experiences, Psychotherapy Research, 26:6, 737-749, DOI: 10.1080/10503307.2015.1065354

Heinonen E., Nissen-Lie H. A. (2020). The professional and personal characteristics of effective psychotherapists: A systematic review. Psychotherapy Research, 30(4), 417-432. doi: 10.1080/10503307.2019.1620366

Hill C. E., Lystrup A., Kline K., Gebru N. M., Birchler J., Palmer G., Robinson J., Um M., Griffin S., Lipsky E., Pinto-Coelho K. (2013). Aspiring to become a therapist: Personal strengths and challenges, influences, motivations, and expectations of future psychotherapists. Counselling Psychology Quarterly 26(3-4), 267-293. doi: 10.1080/ 09515070.2013.825763

Knapp S., Gottlieb M. C, Handelsman M. M. (2017). Self-awareness questions for effective psychotherapists: Helping good psychotherapists become even better. Practice Innovations, 2(4), 163-172. https://psycnet.apa.org/doi/10.1037 /pri0000051